Don't judge a book by its cover

First of all, why the hell not? If you write a book, and you want people to read it, you need to make it look bloody well interesting. There is a reason that the Twilight books sell better than the complete works of Shakespeare. That being said, I don't think you could pay me to read either of those.

The other day I was out for dinner, at a restaurant that was probably at least a notch or two above my social standing.  The type of place where you don't really understand what it is that's being offered to eat but you feel a bit too self-conscious to ask. Or at least I do. How am I supposed to maintain my air of middle-class if I have a trailer park palate.

No such worry for the middle-aged guy sitting at the table next to us, which was close in that cozy "aren't we such a great restaurant, look how many tables we have to squeeze in here to feed our adoring fans" sort of way.  He also felt he was in a little over his head, but wasn't afraid to admit it. He joked with his guests (a younger, hip looking couple in their late 20's) that he was probably breaking some sort of unwritten dress code. Initially I was a little embarrassed for the couple and this louder than a whisper (the average tone of the restaurant) gent and his failure to adhere to social norms. I may not actually BE upper middle class, but at least I can fake it.

Part way through the meal we ended up talking to him, probably in big part because he pointed at something we ordered and said, "well, what's that?". Ultimately, we ended up sharing a few nibbles with these folks at the table next to us (it was a tapas place, which is meant for sharing after all!) and our dinner was probably better for it. I think my favorite comment was his take on some sort of snooty pork belly thing - "it's like fancy bacon".  In the end, we had a great night and I realized that he is probably a "better" (if not at least happier) person than I am; he was happy with who he was and not ashamed of it. He certainly was a nicer person than the appropriately dressed snotty woman sitting to the other side of me who had her belongings strewn over my seat when I sat down and didn't even make an effort to move them out of my way.

I should rob you.

Sorry for being away for a bit, I'm doing a spot of traveling at the moment and I am not up on technology nearly enough to have any sort of smart phone (most of those are probably smarter than me) or nice travel sized laptop to put my thoughts down. I've had a lot of good thoughts, but since I am usually in my bathing suit I don't have a place to even keep a pen and paper to write them down (see Soapy shower thoughts to learn more about my perpetual dilemma).

Anywhoo, while traveling, I've been reminded of some things I hate don't like (I heard it's bad to hate things) about other travelers.

1. People who wear their money belt/passport neck thingy on the outside of their clothes. The whole point of those horrible uncomfortable contraptions is to hide them. Otherwise use things like wallets, bags or pockets.
2. People who wear their day pack on the front. Now, don't get me wrong, I've done this - mostly when my main pack is strapped to my back and getting things out of my little bag will be easier when it's within reach. I may have even done it once or twice when in a very crowded area when a deft pickpocket might have been able to get into the bag on my back without me noticing (how I figured that they wouldn't be able to get in if my arms were busy holding it in front I'm not sure). However, when you do this say, at the airport or on a hiking trail, you just look dumb. You also look uncomfortable as you may have noticed that it is not called a front pack, it is called a back pack.

This is all for now. If you participate in these traits and you get robbed by an otherwise fairly innocent looking traveler, it might be me expressing my rage.

I'm a bitch

Office politics. I've never been very good at them.

I am a little different than most people. I generally fully understand social norms and can act quite easily within them, but am definitely not a follower and I over analyze things possibly to a fault.

Which brings me to my point. One of my lazy lazy co-workers who is constantly on facebook (I refer to her as facebook girl) has a phone that every time it goes off, it makes my computer speakers go haywire. No idea why. It's a network thing. My phone/network doesn't have that effect (thank god!). So every single freaking time she gets a call or a text my speakers alert the entire office that she's got a personal call/text. This is assuming she's actually in the office and not on some mysterious out of office business; but that is a story for another day.

Now, calling her facebook girl (FBG) is actually a bit of a misnomer, as she is around 36 years old. Yet there she is on facebook, hours a day, chatting while at work and when she's not doing that she's on personal phone calls rehashing things that she's posted on facebook. Thankfully, she's never added me to facebook because I'm sure I would have to block out millions of things from my newsfeed about farms, mafias and horoscopes. I can make this presumption because she is actually apparently only 13 years old mentally and one day giggled about how she had changed her last name on facebook to Mathers. Like in honor of Eminem. Seriously.

Let the record show, I absolutely go on facebook while at work. Who doesn't? Well who doesn't that doesn't have it blocked? I like facebook for number of reasons, also none of which I'll bother to get into right now. In fact, I'm writing this blog post while at work. I'm such a rebel. My complaint more so is that she's too dumb to be embarrassed by her actions. It's a game that we all play, management knows that we don't work 100% of the time (who does?) but in an act of courtesy, when someone walks by, act like you are working for gods sake. Of course, I'm pretty lucky, my computer screen faces a corner so no one can see what I'm not doing unless they swing around the cubicle wall.

Further to my annoyance, she is a verbalizer. Lucky me, I get a play by play of EVERYTHING that she bothers to do in a day. "Oh good, so-and-so just emailed me back!" "I just printed 25 copies of a document" "Why don't I read this news release word for word even though all the information was already in the paper and I'm days behind on reading these things?" Hmm, okay, she might not verbalize that last one exactly like that, but you get the idea.

On the bright side, since she's not my facebook friend when she really makes me mad I can put snarky status' about her :)

How not to multi-task

The idea of multi-tasking is a great one. We all should do more of it. What we should NOT do however, is watch TV and surf the internet (unless of course you're reading a great blog like mine) as that isn't multi-tasking. While I may like to pretend that it's not just me sitting on the couch and wasting the *prime* years of my life, that's really all it is. With a portal on my lap that can show me in an instant what exactly it is that I am missing.

Oh internet, how I love/hate thee.

I'm thinking of going into a self imposed TV exile (and besides, think of all the great things that will be on my PVR when I go back to it), but I'm pretty sure I lack the discipline for a task of that magnitude.

I did however, turn the TV off to write this post.

Happy new year?

I get a little fed up with all the societal norms that we're supposed to follow.

Like New Year's Eve. Now, I do like that it forces everyone to get together and ostensibly do something fun, but all the Happy New Year! crap that goes along with it? No thanks. Personally, I have new minute/hour/day resolutions that I can't keep, let alone thinking that I'm going to change anything about my life mid-winter when there are hundreds of delicious things to be eaten EVERYWHERE.

I also don't like Christmas. I enjoy some of the sentiments of Christmas, but (and I'm guilty of this myself) why do we feel the need to spend time with people we don't like in the spirit of a holiday that was once a religious holiday and is now just mass commercialization?? If you like being with your family, then spend time with them. Year round. If you don't like them, don't spend time with them. *note to self, take own advice*

I'll go in depth about my theory of gifts later.

So, Happy New Year!! If you want it to be.